Your Mental Health “Disorder” Can Make You a Better Athlete

How to channel the hidden strengths of your mental health journey

I’ve been reflecting deeply on a core theme for The Balanced Athlete community, and today I’m excited to share an idea that I hope becomes a true breakthrough for you—both in your sport and on your mental health journey.

Here at The Balanced Athlete Substack, we’ve been exploring the dynamic between endurance sports and mental health—a relationship I've personally navigated for most of my adult life. Pursuing a graduate degree in applied sports psychology, combined with my clinical experience as a physician, has helped crystallize truths I've felt intuitively for decades as someone who lives with bipolar disorder.

In my first post, We Are The Balanced Athlete, I introduced the core TBA mission: Your sport can help heal your mind, and your mental health journey can transform your sport. I made a strong (though not entirely novel) case that athletes can use tactics and strategies from sports psychology to improve mental health. Today, however, I’m focusing squarely on the second half of that mission: leveraging your mental health experiences to elevate athletic performance. This, I realize, is a perspective that’s a bit less common—and I’m ready to step boldly into that conversation.

Over the past few years, I've grown fascinated by a powerful yet underappreciated idea: we can actively channel the insights, experiences, and even the energy from our mental health journey directly into better athletic performance.

This flips the traditional narrative on its head. Often, mental performance techniques from sports psychology—like positive self-talk, mindfulness, or visualization—are promoted to improve everyday mental health. And I’m a huge advocate of using the tools of sports psychology to help treat our mental conditions. But what if we reversed the order? What if the energy derived from our mental health challenges could fuel our athletic performance?

This is the essence of being a Balanced Athlete. It’s not just about endurance or grit—it’s about transforming the raw, sometimes dark energy of our struggles into a powerful athletic drive.

The Energy of Depression: Grit in Darkness

When I first introduce this idea, most people often react with skepticism: "Wait, Dr. Jud, are you seriously saying I can take the energy from depression and use it to become a better athlete?" My answer is an unequivocal yes.

Depression is exhausting, isolating, and deeply challenging. I dread the cognitive slowing, hopelessness, and fatigue that comes with it. Yet, hidden within these struggles is profound learning about resilience. Think about the days you woke up without motivation, yet still got up, went to work, took care of your kids, or simply survived another day. 

Those small moments speak volumes about your grit and strength. And you learn from every one of these moments, record them as experience, and store them as a form of energy that can be used when the time is right. 

The energy you harness from depression is heavy, exhausting, yet uniquely powerful. It contains the deep desire to overcome, to escape that state.

Sport offers similar moments. The marathon's final miles, a brutal cycling climb, or the last swim lap—when your body screams and your mind begs to quit. Conventional sports psychology emphasizes positive self-talk, which certainly helps. But you can also tap directly into the gritty resilience forged by your hardest mental battles.

Instead of suppressing these feelings, lean into them:

• "I've endured worse than this. I can get through this run."

• "I've faced my own mind and survived. This climb is nothing compared to that."

• "I'm carrying the weight of my struggles—and that makes me stronger."

This isn't glorifying pain. It's recognizing that the resilience built through depression can become a powerful ally in sport.

Don’t reject your depression. Don’t bury it or believe you have to overcome it. Use your depression.

The Energy of Elevated Moods: Harnessing Hypomania

On the other end of the spectrum lies a different, electric energy. As someone with bipolar, I frequently experience hypomania—periods of elevated mood, high energy, and uncontainable drive.

In The Hypomanic Edge: The Link Between Craziness and Success in America (IMO required reading for any Balanced Athlete with bipolar or big mood swings), psychologist John Gartner makes the case that hypomania fuels creativity, risk-taking, and significant achievement. I believe a similar argument can be made for athletic success.

Hypomania, and frankly any time you’re in a state of elevated mood, can feel like a superpower: boundless physical energy, effortless creativity, and soaring confidence. If properly channeled, it can propel athletic performance significantly. 

Shortly after launching The Balanced Athlete here on Substack a close friend of mine texted me this: “I’ve realized in recent years that I need to stop fighting my nature…so now I follow the dopamine, use it while it lasts, and I’m grateful for it.” My friend doesn’t have bipolar as a clinical diagnosis, but she gets it completely when it comes to harnessing energy.   

Don’t reject high-energy states, instead:

• Push past previous boundaries with calculated risks.

• Set clear limits to avoid overtraining.

• Use bursts of energy strategically in sprints or high-intensity intervals.

• Incorporate mindfulness to stay grounded and avoid burnout.

Unchecked, hypomania can lead to impulsive decisions and overexertion. I’ve experienced this firsthand, like the “midnight centuries” I rode so frequently during my residency at Hopkins which I described in Embracing The Bipolar Advantage. Intentionality is essential to harness this energy effectively.

The Balanced Athlete: A New Perspective

Here’s my core message: Your mental health challenges—whether depression, anxiety, addiction, trauma, or elevated moods—aren't simply obstacles. They're sources of unique energy and wisdom that can enhance your athletic performance profoundly.

This mindset shift means discarding the negative label "disorder" and adopting a framework of positivity and reflection. Your "disorder" can be your athletic advantage.

Next time you’re struggling, remind yourself: the endurance built in those tough moments is the same endurance you'll tap into during competition. When you feel energized, harness it thoughtfully and intentionally.

This perspective doesn’t minimize the importance of balance, care, and self-awareness. But it opens the door to embracing your mental health journey as integral to your athletic identity, which is both empowering and transformative.

Shifting my thinking this way has been a game-changer for my own identity, and I’d love for you to try it out. 

Balanced Boosts (Key Takeaways) — Applying Mental Health Energy in Sport

Here’s how to begin:

Reflect on Your Experiences

• Journal or meditate on moments you've overcome mental health challenges. Highlight your grit, determination, or creativity.

Craft Personal Mantras

• "I've conquered my mind; I can conquer this race."

• "Darkness taught me strength."

Embrace Both Energies

• Leverage depressive energy for endurance and persistence.

• Use elevated or hypomanic energy strategically for bursts of training and creativity.

Seek Support and Self-Awareness

• Work with a coach, therapist, physician, or mentor who understands mental health and sport interplay.

A Journey Worth Sharing

At The Balanced Athlete, I'm diving deep into this theme because it's personal, powerful, and necessary. Too often, mental illness is seen as something to "fix." But it’s also a source of energy, learning, and strength that can elevate us—as athletes and humans.

While it may sound counterintuitive—or even controversial—I genuinely believe that your mental health condition, and the profound lessons you’ve learned from navigating it, can make you not just a stronger athlete, but a more insightful, resilient, and empathetic person. Because of this I don’t spend time wishing I didn’t have bipolar disorder; I spend time looking for ways I can let it shine—to use it as a source of strength, creativity and connection in my life and athletic pursuits. 

This post wraps up the first three foundational posts of The Balanced Athlete, clearly articulating my core mission: your sport can help heal your mind, and your mental health journey can transform your athletic performance. This mission has become central to my own life, improving it profoundly—not perfect, but significantly better—and I genuinely believe it holds the same potential for you. I'm thrilled to keep exploring together how embracing our mental health experiences can positively reshape our athletic performance, mindset, and overall lives.

On a personal note, I'm feeling a bit of that "gulp" factor, as I'm only three days away from running the Canyons 100K trail race in Auburn, CA alongside my brother-in-law. Honestly, I'm feeling the nerves and the intimidation. I'd truly appreciate your support out there—you’re an essential part of my team. With that in mind, my next post will delve into the importance of your "Crew," highlighting how vital it is to have supportive people by your side when navigating life and sport with mental illness.

Amidst the imbalance, let’s strive toward balance,
Jud

Embracing the Bipolar Advantage

From Label to Leverage: Harnessing mental health strengths for athletic success

Words are powerful.
They inform, influence, entertain, and inspire.

And that’s exactly why I want to talk about one word in particular: disorder. More specifically, why I’m working to phase out that word when talking about bipolar.

Most of us who live with bipolar lead a quiet, private existence around our condition.

We may share details with a few trusted family members or close friends, but it’s not something we bring up at a neighborhood BBQ or during a work lunch. We become skilled at concealing it.

Why? Because Bipolar Disorder—a condition marked by cycles of depression and mania (or hypomania), with symptoms ranging from deep fatigue and hopelessness to elevated mood, impulsivity, and sleepless energy—still carries a heavy load of cultural misunderstanding, stigma, and shame. And so do many other mental health conditions. If you live with one—or love someone who does—you know exactly what I mean.

Let me give you a window into my own personal shame.

The Shame I Carried

During my pediatrics residency at Johns Hopkins, when I was initially diagnosed with bipolar, I was on overdrive—working 80-hour weeks, sneaking out in the dead of night to cycle “midnight century rides” before heading straight into 24-hour clinical shifts.

On the surface, I was thriving. Underneath, I was unraveling.

My hyperconfidence veered into delusion.
I walked into traffic without a glance.
My unchecked mania alienated colleagues.
I grew paranoid. Distrustful.

The cracks were widening, and I was heading for a breaking point that would soon land me in the hospital. Many of my colleagues suspected I was on drugs. And, in some ways, I was on drugs: a cocktail of endogenous hormones fueling increasingly risky and destructive behaviors.

When I eventually returned to work after recovering from my hospitalization, I was tremendously embarrassed and ashamed.

Ashamed to be “the guy who broke.”
Ashamed to be a doctor who had lost control of his mind.

How would I manage this new, disordered self-identity? How could I keep going?

I did keep going.

I recovered from this breakdown (and some others that followed), and went on to build a successful career as a pediatrician, eventually pivoting into medical leadership roles within health technology startups while continuing part-time patient care. Along the way, however, I hid my past pretty carefully.

Even many years later, and after having cared for thousands of children and families, I still carry around the shame of my initial breakdown, like a heavy weight.

Where the Stigma Starts

The shame those of us with bipolar carry stems from a fear that if people know about your illness they will think of you as “crazy” and—from that moment forward—they will analyze all of your behaviors through a certain lens.

Some of their judgement results from media portrayal of the illness. Some stems from the reality that people with bipolar can demonstrate unusual and even disturbing behaviors, and those scenarios get entrenched in our memories, further fueling the stigma.

Stigmatization also increases because of the way we talk about the condition. The words we use. There are only a handful of diseases which use the word “disorder” in the official lexicon of the disease, and most of them are psychiatric illnesses.

Look at these terms:

• Bipolar Disorder

• Generalized Anxiety Disorder

• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

• Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

I think the psychiatrists may have fumbled this one. When you look at other medical diseases, the term “disorder”is used to define the category of illness—e.g., Metabolic Disorders, Neurological Disorders, Genetic Disorders—rather than the individual, personal label. That’s why you don’t hear anyone saying “she has Diabetes Disorder” or “he has Hypertension Disorder.”

But when it comes to psychiatry, your diagnosis becomes an identity.

Importantly, the way someone talks and thinks about their illness over time has a profound impact on how they see themselves.

The Bipolar Advantage

What if we flipped the script?

What if we adopted a strengths-first mindset—not denying the challenges, but refusing to let them define us?

That’s how I’ve come to see my own condition—not as a disorder, but as an advantage.

Yes, bipolar can be a rollercoaster of emotions and tumultuous at times. But when managed with insight, intention, and support, it can also offer unique strengths—especially in sport.

I call this the bipolar advantage.

How Bipolar Can Elevate Athletic Performance

As a bipolar athlete, I’ve learned how to work with my wiring—to harness the power of my condition to train, compete, and grow.

Here’s how that advantage can show up:

1. Increased Energy and Stamina

In hypomanic states, energy surges. This can fuel longer, more intense workouts—especially helpful when returning from injury or burnout.

2. Enhanced Creativity and Strategic Thinking

Elevated moods often bring creative insight. Athletes can use this for tactical thinking, inventive problem-solving, and outside-the-box strategies.

3. Boldness and Fearlessness

Reduced risk aversion can lead to assertiveness in high-stakes moments. A willingness to “go for it” when others might hesitate. (Caution: This strength requires conscious regulation—boldness without grounding can become recklessness)

4. Hyperfocus

The ability to lock in on a goal or a training block with single-minded drive can be a major asset in long-form endurance sports.

5. Emotional Depth

Yes, bipolar comes with emotional intensity—but that depth can be a superpower. It fuels passion. Grit. Connection to purpose.

6. Resilience Born from Darkness

Living through depression, again and again, builds a kind of toughness that can’t be taught.
This is where the real grit lives for me and others who share this struggle.
To lace up your shoes and show up anyway—that’s courage.

Let’s Change the Conversation

This small word shift—from “disorder” to “advantage”—isn’t about denying reality.
It’s about reclaiming authorship of our story.

Here at The Balanced Athlete, we’re building a community that sees strength in struggle, not shame.

We’re rewriting the narrative around mental health in sport—not just for athletes, but for everyone who supports them. And along the way, we’ll be exploring the full spectrum of mental health challenges which can tip us out of balance.

If you’ve ever felt like your mind works differently... like your story doesn’t quite fit the mold... welcome. You belong here. Over time, I hope you’ll begin to notice the strengths hidden within your struggle.

In these early posts, I’m working to clearly define The Balanced Athlete’s mission. Last week’s We Are The Balanced Athlete laid the foundation for where we’re headed and why it matters. Today’s post focused on reframing challenges to reduce shame and highlight strength. Next week, I’ll explore a core belief of this project: that the learnings, experiences and energy from your mental health journey can elevate both your performance and fulfillment in sport. Stay tuned!

Amidst the imbalance, let’s strive for balance,

Jud

We Are The Balanced Athlete

Using Your Sport to Strengthen Your Mental Health

Endurance sports aren’t just a physical game—they’re an intense, often uncharted mental battlefield. Yet when the conversation turns to performance, athletes with mental health challenges rarely get center stage.

At The Balanced Athlete, we recognize that behind every epic athletic adventure is a story of inner resilience, moments of struggle, and the quiet, courageous fight to stay balanced.

This community is for athletes who endure amidst chaos. It’s a safe space not just for those facing mental health challenges head-on, but also for their loved ones, coaches, parents, and supporters who stand witness to their daily battles.

Why Balance Matters

I understand the rollercoaster—because I live it.

As a physician, startup exec, and amateur endurance athlete managing bipolar disorder, I know first-hand that the balance between physical exertion and mental wellness can mean the difference between surviving and thriving.

Being a Balanced Athlete isn’t a lofty ideal. It’s a real-life necessity for those of us with mental health challenges trying to excel in sport—and in life.

The term “Balanced Athlete” comes down to harmony. It’s not just about pushing physical limits. It’s about keeping our inner compass steady when the storms hit. It’s about finding stability—even when your mind feels like an unpredictable ocean.

The Give and Take of Mental and Physical Resilience

One of our guiding principles is that there’s a two-way street between sports and mental health.

You can use athletic tools like mindfulness, self-talk, stress management, and strategic pacing of your day to support your mental wellness.

Conversely, you can use the wisdom earned through living through mental health challenges—like depression, anxiety, mood swings,, addiction, trauma—to sharpen your athletic approach and  improve both performance and fulfillment in your sport.

This is the powerful interplay and we explore here (Figure 1). It’s the constant dialogue between these two spheres that empowers us.

Figure 1. The Interplay Between Your Sport and Your Mental Health Journey

I’ve felt this exchange viscerally.

Trail ultras, long-effort mountain biking, cyclocross racing, skiing—these aren’t just hobbies. They’re lifelines. These pursuits taught me how to suffer well. How to persist. How to recover.

But I’ve also seen the other side. Times when exercise tipped into mania—like during my medical residency, when I was pairing 80-hour workweeks with “midnight century” rides (more on that in a future post...).

Excessive exercise during those times wasn’t just a symptom of my mood disorder. It was fuel for it. Like pouring lighter fluid on a fire.

Learning to (Try to) Stay Balanced

If you’re walking a similar tightrope, you know this: balance isn’t just a buzzword—it’s survival.

Yes, the concept might feel cliché, but for those of us who feel deeply and intensely, it’s real.

Too much or too little training can shake your foundation. Here at The Balanced Athlete, we’ll dig into how to spot those tipping points, steady yourself when your mind starts to spin, and use your sport as a source of healing—not harm.

My Own Long Game

Over time, I’ve realized you can’t separate mental and physical health. They move together.

As a pediatrician pursuing a master’s in applied sports psychology, an endurance athlete, and a human navigating the twists and turns of bipolar, I’ve learned the importance of playing the long game. 

It’s about listening to mood shifts. Embracing recovery. Learning how to transform hardship into strength.

I’ve found a way to push myself athletically while staying grounded mentally. To unlock creativity and purpose at work. And to be fully present in my most important roles as a husband and father.

You can unlock this, too. And the journey? It’s pretty amazing.

We Are the Balanced Athlete

Balanced Athletes—imbalanced athletes chasing the center—are everywhere. And they are powerful.

With intention, we can use the resilience forged through mental health challenges to grow stronger, wiser, and more connected. Even if our steps are small, imperfect, or staggered.

Here, we’ll share stories, hard-won lessons, and the wins and losses that shape us. We’ll explore how exercise can become medicine—when dosed intentionally.

The Journey to a New Kind of Athlete

Exercise hasn’t just improved my symptoms—it’s reshaped how I see mental illness. And I believe it can help others do the same.

Let’s move toward a new paradigm: one where “disorder” is redefined, balance is honored, and athletes on a mental health journey are empowered to thrive.

Join us. Unlock your potential.

The Balanced Athlete journey isn’t linear—but it’s full of breathtaking moments of growth. Let’s walk this road together, through every hill, valley, and unexpected breakthrough.

Amidst the imbalance, strive for balance,

Jud